charismatic megafauna, and impending surrender

this is a conversation of emails ,
images and our surrounding environ.
an intimitate conversation during a brief visit at a rolling time of life.
researched, collaged, danced with.
these are a few pieces of paper left behind, scaps, clues, paper labrynth to take you to your own destination.
this is a story. at least part of the story, which every story is.
the thing with story as with life, is that we each have our own reality, our bubble through which the world comes. the spaces are left for you to paint yourself in.
please make your own soundtrack.


* * *
( a rambling late night email from melrose to m.ack, dec 23)

...next night, the girls, tarzan is back, mu gone north.
we meet redrum at the whip, and in the red paper laterns, high-ceilinged glow, we are all dressed up and illuminated by shimmering martinis.
two rounds deep, we waited on the third,
twittering through the noise.
to the basement of the alibi room our chariot gracefully placed us, we split the last of a party cap, glowing, not talking love but
dancing it.
the rest of the night was so ...
fine.
tarzan spun the tightest ride. kdub, queen of her game.
it was finer thatn the finest film i have seen recently.
the lights, the scenes, what changes, what remains, surrendering to the ride,
the barely noted observations that flicker deep, what clues are these for later?
it is all so..
really
i am crazy in love...




( from K to j, november)
mu looks very familiar and that is a very reashurring thing.
tarzan is back and in the words of Benjamin Andre "you're all I ever wanted and I'm terrified of you"
plays in my head like a mantra. Our relationship has intensified.  This time, I believe in his love for me and in the love we share.  All this time apart. all the times I have thought of him, I have asked for his return and he shows up. finally.  Yet

I am afraid....Why?
I do not question his love,
I do not question spiritual integrity, morality or anything on a deeper level.
He challenges me to think outside the box and I love that about him but it is also what scares the shit out of me.



we had the dance floor all to ourselves.
(the alibis: the postman came first.
then, it was in the mail.)
we took that dancefloor, piece by piece. dancing each dimension of it to love, friends, space:
weaving self through to exposure through to *surrender*

morphing like cells of blood pulsing through a vien.

(in *Subharmonic Frequencies*, a few pages deep...)
Surrender (a second to think)
Vocals: Saul Williams Music: Saul Williams

"Well, there're two ways I can say this. And one would be: fuck you! And there're no two ways around it, because one would be untrue. Because I love everything about you. But I don't want to be around you. If you control my heart will you control my brain? If I give in to you, will it still feel the same? 'Cause I want nothing more than to be here with you. If you fulfill my dreams, will that fulfill you too? I need a second. I need a second to think. Now, the other way to play this would be mellow, light, and, cool. Poetry and meditation. Higher ground and higher truth. Because I love everything about you. But I use everything to doubt you. If you control my heart will you control my brain? If I give in to you, will it still feel the same? 'Cause I want nothing more that to be here with you. If you fulfill my dreams, will that fulfill you too? I need a second. I need a second to think. I found the spot where truth echoes and know each beauty mark by heart. But I just can't keep her still enough to render perfect art. 'Cause the truth is ever changing and although she loves my touch, I've had my way, but I when I pray, she kisses back too much. And it's hard to feel real gangster when you're always getting kissed. But you jump at every pucker, 'cause your fear of getting dissed. I try not to fight the parts of me that want to kiss her back. Egos should be illegal. Mine just don't know how to act. He tells me I don't need her. I should walk this path alone. She's make believe. She's up my sleeve. I'd do better with a clone. But could it be? It seems to me that she's my other half. My inner-tarzan monkey girl, raised mainly by giraffes. And besides she makes me laugh. 'Cause deep down I think she's stupid. But deeper down, I'm just a clown starting bar room brawls with cupid, like, "Fuck that naked baby angel, yo! And gimme 2 more buttery nipples". And God just re-invents herself as ice-cubes in my ripple."






(an email from gillie to jayme, november sometime. )
(this is from another chapter, I cannot bring myself to *not* include it. the Darkness Is ever Present.)
. ...fueled by half understandings of impermanence and
meaningless and emptiness and releasing attachments and the futility of thoughts and wants....and i am not my thoughts, thank goddess, i am nothing separate than anything else.....so what do i do with this?
   
fu ji:
not 2.
shin do fu ji.
soil, human, not 2.

"blessed and lit.
bbbrrright. dont dim it
for darkies who squint."



the river is flowing fast now. let go of the shore.
do not cling to the shore or you will get smashed upon the rocks.
let go, ride it.
the time of the lone wolf is over. the romantic ideal of the lone wolf
wandering lonely her vast territory... all is integrally connected.
take nothing personal. not even yourself.

dec 3

i got an email from gillie today. gillie in the t.dot. in reply to the
sweet sauce little sister.
it a wonder to hear your words again; the tumultion of your thoughts, all pressed two dimentional, all that time squished so tight into this little screen, and i can taste you again. the smell of your finger tips. sounds like i am in love with you, and indeed i still am. toronto heh, you in t.dot.
at this moment i am back flat, 1 pm friday afternoon, kilis mattresses are on the floor by the door and i am flat on my back with a computer on my piillowed lap. it is raining out. kili, who i call mu, is working at the coop. the friday afternoon shift. he is as bouyant and dramatic as ever with everyone. we woke up this morning holding hands with our foreheads pressed together. who woke up first? did we wake at the same time?
we are getting married on the equinox. this is what we tell people, have told people, and confirm with each other every few days or so. for the last three weeks, we still agree. black haired green eyed tatooed man. in him i see every other lover i have had, in a moment, some random gesture. mu!
so i have put my back out.
sneezed tues morn,
suffered through the day.
cried for the next 36 hours, unable to put on my own socks.
humility. shame. money, stress. expectations, change, failure, dealing.

the book Chocolat; sweet goddess thank you;
reading, my first true love.
and it rains.

the barn box tea shoppe has been a wonderous success so far, and many people have ideaed contingency plans for me. everything i dreamed; me dispensing medicines, listening to the herbs and the people talking, facilitating conversations, and soon the conversations have no need of me, but to pour another cup and pass it accoss the counter.
the last weekend will be fresh croissants (!), ali making Indian chai and an Indian feast sat night to give thanks, tables to sell things from, a craft corner. everyone invited.
the gourge hall dance on sat was amazing. mu and i e'd. danced. i was glossy, he was wildeyed and blackhaired bouncing; felt the corners of eyes watching us, as he told of our engagement, who is that redhead tea girl? and the place was littered with his ex-girlfriends. in the omipotence of the dancing, we danced, teasing each other across the floor, tied and untied, with the invisible blinding white light of love dripping off, flowing between us. we awoke at channel rock, and all day the wind did not blow. not even a little. blue heron overhead. sauna. ocean swimm, phospheresence. the wolves howling. sauna.
today it is rainy. as of dec 15 life will change again.
thank you for the briefs tastes of your fingers again,
i know we are not far.
with all my passionate love for and faith in
you
jahmu


us arted by professer mu

i do know this note dances personal indeed; beds drugs and levity that could be taken as arrogance, surely. And on to the internet, where friends of mine, friends of mu's, the sweet legions of ex's we still tender for, all here have access.
But the transparency of these words on a black background is too delicious to deny.

a piece of paper with my name on it,
a puddle that reflects the sun...

I am on the floor, listening to sweet voice of Graceroad, my good friend Ami,
and the rain on the roof, letting my back chill out a bit before i begin to layer teas sweet into glass jars, apply art and pray that with all energy, as with money, the flows are open and i am an open flow.

love
jayme maggie melrose ( ... )

pigs daiyo

soul flower take me flying with you

mac words to a grandfather

From†:† Michael Ackhurst
Sent†:† November†9,†2004†6:28:40†AM
To†:† lucidluna@hotmail.com, malcolm@hfx.eastlink.ca, yo_mal@hotmail.com, lindafofinha@rediffmail.com, julia_sunshine_327@hotmail.com
Subject†:† Hi, gramps is sick. BUt he's old so it's OK LOve to you all.
| | | Inbox
Poppa Bill,
My strength to you grandfather! What I have for you is only a note, but your memory fills it's lines. Good recovery to you.


Upon hearing you were sick I wrote to you;


Bill,


I took a walk today, out further than usual on the dusty paths of Dar's less famous neighbourhoods.††I was not annyomous among the shacks and shops--everyone took notice in a stunned and friendly way.††


I walked through a pack of kids playing a sundown game of soccor with a bundled rag.††They stopped as I said a cheery "mambo!" (Hello!) and their eyes opened wider, and silent. I kept walking, and in the sand of the road I saw a pair of abandoned bicycle handlebars.


Well concious of the eyes on me, I picked them up and turned to the kids to ask, "Can I borrow this bicycle?" Handlebars in front, I waved goodbye and put on a show of pedalling this invisible bike down the road.


What a song of laughter! And I giggled too, leaned the "bike" against a cashew tree and carried on.††The kids were still tickled, and when I turned back I saw a boy with the handlebars himself, and to everyones applause he continued the show-- the spotlight now on him.††And some joy of life with us all.


This is what you give me: humanity, humour and audacity. The genious of a "serious" joke! You teach the music of courage Bill and I am proud to sing your songs. A finer grandfather I could not imagine so give us another one now!


I trust, as the poem says, you will not go quietly into this or any good night... so with my love to you, I send pity for your nurses! You are a handful,††a precious handful.††You may borrow my bike on your road to revovery.


UNtil I see you,


Your faithful grandson,


MIchael William Ackhurst

smitten i surrender

alls i know is with this burning between my legs... the banks have been breached and worth now flows orange like leaves in these autumn storms.




nov 4


it is on kilis floor that i lie
i wish to suck my fingers and curl my toes
these beats throb in the floor that i lie
my breasts throb in proximity of you
here, is the intoxicated, eyes rolled back, serpant of rising
in the base of my throat
i must part my lips
lifting chin
my head falls back to this rising passion

a puddle that reflects the sun
a piece of paper with my name on it

this is me with the sun sky forest puddle halo
this is me down there
that is me up there
a piece of paper with my name on it
my name on it
me my name
me i exist?
with these years behind me i should know.
but this knowledge brings me to my knees, to tears
you
you sit here near me
and i trust you
i trust you with these thoughts
it is you who has intoxicated me who has injected my body with this languid sensuality

it is you who i rise for when i taste my own fingers.

in this sensual intoxication, i curl
thighs spread, running red

"all those ships that never sailed,
the ones with their seacocks open,
that were scuttled in their stalls,
today
i bring them back
huge and intransitory
and let them sail
forever."




writhing on the floorr with these serpants of passion
i am finally getting down to the simple truth of my life.

i am feeling this crazy lightness
like the lower half of my body is holding to earth my upper half,
muscles supple
like a weight has left me and here i bounce.

wolf rules

notes taken from notes taken at the Lizzie Lake cabin one spring from the book Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes


los angeles timidos : the shyest angels


munda de la madre : psychic motherworld

inimicable. ineffable. numinous luminous.

Jung once said God became more conscious as humans became more conscious.

general wolf rules for life
1. Eat.
2. Rest.
3. Rove in between.
4. Render loyalty.
5. Love the children.
6. Cavil in the moonlight.
7. Tune your ears.
8. Attend the bones.
9. Make love.
10. Howl often.

the woman in the rocking chair who rocks the idea until it becomes young again.

leave deep footprints because you can. write secrets upon the wall and be ashamed of nothing. when we assert intuition, we are like the starry night, or a dragonfly eye, looking at the world through 1000 eyes. a healthy woman is much like a wolf; robust, chalk full, strong, life force, life-giving, territorially aware, inventive, loyal, roaming, to chase, to birth, to create, to kill, to shadow.


maiden, maid, old crone.

gardener, king, magician. seed soil root

gardener; cultivator of soul, soil, keeper of seed soil, root, regeneration,
sow, train, and harvest new energy.
maintanance
king; trove of knowledge
inner knowing, gentle strength
son of crone, in charge of attitudes and rules.
mage; instincually feminine. underworld power. crone.

{enantiodromia: *to flow backwards *(Heroclitus) *regression or digging for roots

"from a time when the Goddess combed the hair of mortal women and loved them so..."

les muertes chicitas, les muertes grandotas





1. Accidental finding of treasure, even if you dont know it.
2. Chase and hiding, time of hope and fear for both.
3. Untangling and understanding of Life/Death/Life aspect.
4. Relaxing into trust.
5. Sharing future dreams and past sadnesses.
6. Healing archiac wounds with regards to love.
7. Using the heart to sing up new life. Intermingling of body and soul.

compost homeopathy

herb and the micronutrients they accumulate:

borage: silica, phosphorus
chamomile: calcium, potassium, phosphorus
comfrey: silica, nitrogen, magnesium, calcium, potassium, iron
fennel: sodium, sulphur, potassium
horsetail: silica, magnesium, calcium, iron, cobalt
nasturtiums: sodium, fluorine, sulpher, magnesium, calcium, potassium, phosphorus, iron
nettles: sodium, sulphur, nitrogen, calcium, potassium, iron, copper
primrose: magnesium
vetches: nitrogen, potassium, phosphorus, copper, copper, cobalt
yarrow: nitrogen, potassium, phosphorus, copper

notes from Edible Garden Weeds of Canada

although most of these weeds are only valuble as a famine food,
i take these notes to remember what their value is when a plethora is a available.

Couch Grass
can be dried and ground, used as flour or as a tea.
it is high in potassium, silicon, chlorine and minerals.

Ox-Eye Daisy
the young leaves in winter are a delicatable salad green, sweet and fresh.
the flowers can make a wine, like dandilion wine.
Daisy Wine
5-6L daisies, flowers only.
6L boiling water
1.5 kg white sugar
500g chopped golden raisins
500g wheat kernals
rind and juice of two lemons
8g package dry yeast

place flowers in a crock pot and pour over the boiling water. let stand 24 hrs. remove flowers, add all but the yeast, until dissolved. Dissolve the yeast separately in 1 cup warm water with 1 tsp sugar; let stand 10 mins. Cover with cloth and let stand for 3 weeks, stirring daily. bottle and cork lightly until fermentation is complete. Wine should be mature in 6 months.

Thisltles
baked thistle roots, chopped roots in stew

Sow-thistle
use young leaves raw, or steamed; bitter, similar to dandelion.

Dandelion
(best pronounced dan-dill-ion)
Oldtimers dandilion Wine
same as daisy wine, but no wheat kernals. 250g raisins,
the tea from dandelion roots or leaves good for liver disorders and digestion. good for skin, stimulating the kidneys.


Wild Mustards
use leaves as greens, spice, and seed for pickling and mustard.
to make mustard, finely grind seeds, mix with vinegar, a little oil or horseradish.
the leaves are rich in calcium, phorphorus, potassium and vitamin A.

Shepards Purse
leaves taste much like cabbage, eat raw or cooked.
the mature seed pods make an excellent spice.

Watercress
leaves. yummy.

LambsQuarters
like spinach. yummy.
contains more iron and protien than spinach!!

Red and White Clover
rootstocks best in spring,
leaves and flowers in salad, flowers for tea.

Storks Bill - Wild Geranium
edible leaves, salads or steamed

Mallow
all edible, best steamed, make soups more glutinous.
disc shaped fruits edible, reminiscent of okra, called by young brit kids `fairy cheeses`

Evening Primrose
basal leaves as potherb, roots boiled, have a nutty flavor.
a tea made of roots and leaves for colds, ointment made for skin disorders

Plantain
delicious potherb in spring
medicinal tea, vitamin A and C

Purslane
succulent plant super rich in iron, commonly used as potherb and salad green
pickled, the greens are excellent, seeds can be used as a porridge

there are many others listed in the book, some of which i know too well to makes notes on, and others of less interest to me.
published by the Natural Museum of Natural Sciences.

dusk beneath douglas

i sit in my spot, big doug fir root in the small of my back. high enough to see across the lake , into the marsh, through the trees; on the aural periphery of the farmhouse, the barns, the field below, and the vast bordered view before me. blackbird. chirp. twee---.ererii (rising in sylables). ch.ch.ch.ch.ch. mosquito. wooden spoon on a metal bowl. bhaaaaa. oh-er-ee. wind making small waves in the water with hit against the lakeshore plants. mosquitos with black and white striped legs, small and fast: mosquitos from japan or vice versa. ... how to walk gently, which is to observe. to be sure of ones steps, because you, with a thinking head and heart and spirit and truth, are going that way.
the way the path the flow. and sometimes one must paddle hard to not smash upon the rocks again. (to stand in the freezing water and break yourself on a riddle of your own making.
To dream; to pan the living clay you are and find gold in it.) and sometimes, it is a sweet floating sunday afternoon.
birds seem to mate, to partner and pair. i wonder if some stay together, and some split ways. i wonder if these are the details they chat about in the trees together, sing across the lake at dusk. and then i listen. gentle sparce ch-- ch-- ch--. they hear me listening and quieten down, like that brainwave monitor that murray was talking about where they connect your brain to some machine which is makes sound sustained by a single brainwave; when the brainwave fails, the sound changes or stop.
now that i have carried myself away again they have continued. and fall quiet.
southwest wind. warm. the trollump of horses hooves resonates through the groundwater. the splash of a fish jump. the sound of small waves hitting the long expanse of firm log. the world begins to take on orange hues. My friend, Corey, once said that writing in a negiation with God. First, it is god's word, and they are not yours. Then, you write, and say, Oh please, just let this flow, please God let me use these words to translate my thought. I will give them all back when I am done, I just need them for a moment. So then one day God asks for them all back. But, well, they're yours now and no one can take them away because you wrote them down.
blackbird trill. female i think. tree bird soliloquay. soliloquies of wind and breeze (saul williams). little marsh bird. a pair of ducks agree and pull off the water. little tree bird. frogs begin. water lapping on cattails and hardhack. little tree bird. big tree songbird. frogs. light dims. pen seems to fade. the continual cycle of something into nothing and back out again.

my garden

parsnip blooms

delphiniums

towering peas

i currently subscribe fully to biodiversity and intercropping. and height. the towers of flowers; the soundtrack of my garden is
bbzzzzzzzz crunch crunch (thats me) bbbbzzzzzz zz (thats bumbling bumblebees).

nihon jin, koko ga ii

konichi wa mina san

hello everyone.

it is a few days after solstice now,
hot in June.
here are a few pictures from this summer,
please make comments
(comments are like an email),
if you want.

gomen na,
hoka ni no ingo ga musakashi,
it is all just notes from school
and omoshiroi janai!
the school is very interesting, i love it.
to see the Linnaea
website, click on the word Linnaea
Linnaea.
the colored words are links. Click on any of them.

I live in a big farmhouse on a lake
with many beautiful friends



seikin
scossi adventure scuta.
watashi no tomodachi, Dylan-san, atarashi no uchi kata.
so, I went to see, and help him.
His house is beautiful, on a cliff, on the ocean, on the Sunshine Coast.
Koko made, asoko kara, ferry boat ga nai.
dakara, hitchhiking scuta!!!
hitchhiking a boat wa sugoi muzakashi yo!


but i made it. I got a ride on a boat, and made it to Dylans house, in time for the sunset on the beach.



i miss Japan and all of you.
more soon.
enjoy!

notes fom This Organic Life

by Joan Dye Gussow.



this book was okay. she talks about eating locally and seasonally. with lots of recipes and cute tales.


Rasberry Syrup

2.5 pints raspberry juice
2 pounds sugar
1 pint water

mash berries well and strain through jelly bag. place sugar in preserving kettle, add water, place over fire, and stir until dissolved, then boil until clear and skim. Let syrup boil again until a soft ball is formed in cold water, then slowly add the fruit juice. Boil again. Skim and pour into hot sterilized jars.

Joans Pear Chutney Kosenko

mix:
4 pears, cut in 1"dice
1 cup light raisins
1 cup cider vigengar
3/4 cup sugar
1/8 tsp salt
1/2 tsp each ginger, cinnamon, allspice
1/4 tsp ground cloves
2 fresh green or dried red chillies, chopped
1 medium onion.

bring to a boil, stirring occasionally, for 30 mins.
spoon into hot sterilized jars.


pg 148
Most of us dont live, or dont want to live where coal or chrome or copper or gravel are wrenched from the earth to provide us with heat or toasters or wiring or foundations, so the costs to the earth and to its living skin where those things are mined remain invisible to us. So does the true cost of our food, produced around the world often by people who are too poor to eat well, on cropland they might pther wise use to feed themselves. We can resist by participating in this pillage by living frugally, buying and replacing as few material objects as possible, and by trying to eat from farms close to home. In the garden, I figure, we can do it by not stealing topsoil from somewhere else, but by building it ourselves.




pg160
The idea that the earth would be a more fruitful place if all of us stopped eating animals and their products is simply wrong. this is so, among other reasons, because ruminants (animals who have bacteria in their guts that allow them to make use of plant matter that humans cant digest) can graze land not suitable for growing crops.
pg161
Everytime any of us eats we are benefitting from the killing of something- insects, birds, animals, even humans, - not just the plants we put into our mouth. Death is one of the true costs of our food. Death does not come merely to animals trapped, shot, or poisoned by farmers protecting their crops. It comes as well to creatures whose life spaces and local ecosystems are usurped by the vast monocultures of modern agriculture. Death also comes to workers and their children, forced to enter fields too recently sprayed with pesticides, to women and children going hungry as the food they grow is sold north for badly needed cash, to peasant families left without income as a multinational company refuses as `below standard` a broccoli crop intended for our freezers.

pg 184
"The homegrown tomato requires no fuel in its transport, no packaging to be sent to the landfull, no political decisions about who will be allowed to work the fields or what level of polutants is acceptable in our groundwater." John Jeavons

Spicy Fried Egg and Tomato
chop fine
1 mild green chilli, (anahiem, poblano)
fry lightly in corn oil
stir in
1 tsp cumin, (or more)
fry another minute.

half
8 big ripe luscious homegrown tomatoes
add to pan with salt and pepper
fry lightly on both sides.

fry the eggs in that oil and serve.

Panzella
in a large bowl combine
1 lb tomatoes
1/4 cup finely chopped red onion
1/4 cup finely chopped fresh basil
garlic
5 tsp olive oil
salt and pepper

1 1/2 cups stale italian or other good bread, soaked in water for 15 mins and squeezed dry.

toss to blend, season to taste

pg 190
...of 497 varieties of lettuce commercialy available in 1903, only 36 remained in 1980; 7 of 109 varieties of spinach; 79 of 408 varieties of tomatoe remained.

Tomatoe Glut Sauce

preheat oven to 400

in a large roasting pan
6 lbs tomatoes, quartered
1 1/2 cups coarsely cut carrrots
1 1/2 cups coarsely cut celery
1 1/2 cups " onions
9 cloves garlic or more
6 tbsp balsalmic vinegar
1 bay leaf
1 1/2 each frsh thyme, oregano, basil, parsley
salt pepper

roast for 45 mins, or until soft. process briefly to leave slightly chuncky. freeze in 2 cup portions. makes 4 lbs.

Sri Lankan Cabbage
(Kumar Rupesinghe)

thinly slice 2 + onions,
saute in butter or olive oil
add
1 tsp tumeric
several whole cardamon pods
some cloves
3 cloves garlic, chopped fine

when onions soft add
1 head thinly sliced cabbage.
fry till tender.
add a little salt to taste.


Baked Grated Carrots

preheat oven 350

in a casserole pan
3-4cups grated carrots
pour over them
2 tbsp melted butter
1 tbsp lemon juice
salt
1 tbsp chopped chives
1 tbsp sherry.
bake 30 mins


Blue and Green Potatoe Salad

boil in their skins 8 - 10 blue potatoes.
drain cut in 1/2" cubes

cut in similar sizes
2 cucs

roast
1 1/2 tsp cumin seeds
1 1/2 tsp coriander seeds
crush

toss all together with
salt
2 tbsp lemon juice
pepper
red pepper
1/4 cup firmly packed fresh mint leaves, coarsely chopped

do not refridgerate.

notes from The Botany of Desire

pg 17;
Like a shimmering equal sign, the word sweetness denoted a reality commensureate with human desire: it stood for fullfillment.

pg 37
the Greeks regarded Dionysus as the antithesis of Apollo, god of clear boundaries, order, and light, of mans firm control over nature. Dionysian revelry melts every Apollian line. By worshipping Dionysus and getting drunk on his wine, the Athenians temporarity returned to nature, to a time when, as the classicist Jane Harrison writes, "man is still to his won thinking brother of plants and animals," The odd, escatic worship of Dionysus, which needed no temple, always took place outside the city, returning religion to the weeds where it had begun.
Dionysus brought wild plants into the house of civilization (as the god of propogation, cultivation, apple trees), but by the same token his own untamed presence reminded people of the untamed nature on which that house always rests, somewhat unsteadily.


pg 105
The tulip is a flower that draws some of the most exquisite lines in nature, and then, in spazms of extravagance, blithely oversteps them. On the same principle, syncopation enlivens a regular, four-four mesure of music, enjambment of the stately line iambic pentameter. So here is a third constituent of beauty to add to the desiderata offered to us by the flower: first came contrast, then pattern (or form), and finally variation.
Great art is born when Apollion form and Dionysian ecstacy are held in balance, ehen our dreams of order and abandon come together.

pg 143
[If someone wrote a book on the natural history of world religion] it would force us to rethink the relation of metter and spirit~ specifically, plant matter and human spirituality. For it would tell how a select group of psychoactive plants and fungi were present at the creation of several of the worlds religions.
the power of plants to transcend the here and now and insuce ecstacy - to take them elsewhere. Ethnobotonists call them entheogens, meaning the god within.

In the same way the human desire for beauty and sweetness introduced into the world a new survival strategy for the plants that could gratify it, the human hunger for transcendence created new opportunituies for another group of plants, No entheogenic plant or fungus ever set out to make molecules for the express purpose of inspiring visions in humans - combating pests is the more likely motive. But the moment humans discovered what these molecules could do for them this wholly inadvertent magic, the plants that made them suddenly had a brilliant new way to prosper. and drom that moment on this is exactly what the plants with the strongest magic did.


pg163
"Consider the cattle, grazing as they pass you by," Neitsche begins an 1876 essay called "The Uses and Disadvantages of History for Life".... a moving and occasionally hilarious paean to the virtues of forgetting, which he maintains is a prerequisite to human happiness, mental health and action.
What Neitzsche is describing is a kind of transcendence - a mental state of complete and utter absorption well known to artists, athletes, gamblers, muscian, dancers, mystics, meditatiors, and the devout in prayer. Something very like it can occur during sex too, or while under the influence of certain drugs. It is a state that depends for its effect on losing oneself in the moment, usually by training powerful, depthless concentration on One Big Thing. (Or, in Eastern tradition, One Big Nothing.) If you imagine conscioiusness as a kind of lens through which we percieve the world, the drastic contricting of its field of vision seems to heighten the vividness of whatever remains in the circle of perception, while everything else (including our awareness of the lens itself) falls away.


Awakening to this present instant, a Zen master has written, we realize the infinite is in the finite of each instant.

Yet we cant get there from here without first forgetting.

pg 166
"Nature always wears the color of the spirit," Emerson wrote, by which he meant we never see the world plainly, only through the filter of prior concepts or metaphors. ("Colors," in classical rhetoric, are tropes.)

pg 167
Or that exceptionally delicious spoonful of vanilla ice cream - ice cream! - parting the drab curtains of the quotidian to reveal, what? = the heartrendingly sweet significance of cream, yes, bearing us all thw way back to the breast. Not to mention the never-before-adequately-appreciated wonder of: vanilla! How astonishing is it that we happen to inhabit a universe in which this quality of vanilla-ness, - this bean! - happens to reside?? How easily could it have been otherwise, and just where would we be, where would chocolate be? without that singular irreplaceable note, that middle C on the Scale of Archetypal Flavors? (Paging Dr. Plato!) For the first time in your journey on this planet you ae fully appreciating Vanilla in all its italicized and caoitalized significance. Until, that is, the next epiphany comes along ( kiwis, chairs, breeze) and the one about ice cream is blown away like a leaf on the breeze of free association.
...They may well be banal, but that doesnt mean they arent also at the same time profound.
Marijauna dissolves this apperent contradiction by making us temporarily forget most of the baggage we usually bring to perception, our aquired sense of familiarity and banality. For what is a sense of banality but a defense against the overwhelming (or at least whelming) power of fresh experience?

*Banality depends on memory; as do irony and abstraction and boredom; three other defences the educated mind deploys against experience so that it can get through the day without being continually, exhaustingly astonished.



pg 245

"this is the assembly of life that it took a billion years to evolve," the biologist E.O.Wilson has written, speaking of biodiverstiy. "It has eaten the storms - folded then into its genes - and created the world that created us. It holds the world steady." To risk this multiplicity is to risk unstring the world.

random eekings of olivers inspiration

so these are some notes from olivers class. and other ramblings. check out his website, specifically the weblog, for the good shit.



this is fierce gillie with her giggle on.

radially symeterics and the bilaterals

you*re so monocotic
dicotic

pull the pistil and suck on the ovary

commensalism; one benefits, the other is not harmed

colonizing time

the avidity of annuals

the great kanke nai

tragedy as impetus.
ad-hocricies.
lawns are just a metaphor,
same as hair.

if you are growing food, you are not a victim.

worms love tofu

like homeopathy, a little input goes a long way.

azmith; degrees with south as 0.

hellacious

compost is a shrappnal aproach.

shrubbery and other living biomass of note and notes

psuedosas japanica
japanese arrow bamboo.
the stuff of the deck at big blue

actinidia arguta
siberian hardy kiwi

sapwood is higher in N, fresh manure when green.
more balanced when mixed with sawdust

everbearing raspberries, heritage raspeberries, fall raspberries

meta-seqoia
dawn redwood.
ancient hardy tree, non-invasive, beautiful, Water Fir.

trifoliate orange
cold weather orange tree

malas fusca
wild crap apple, thorny. root stock

copper wire arrests canker

manjing cherry.

decasnia ferjesia
chinese blue bean tree.
sweet banana/ plum

wasabi
under shade cloth.
aquaphile. good drainage. high iron.
3 years to maturity.

chinese wolfberry
gauget wa tree, zi wa fruit
good for eyesight
edible leaves and berries, propogates from cuttings, likes a hard pruning
similar properties to astralagus

phisocarpus capitatus
pacific ninebark
verbena like shrub, ivory and rose flower balls, big and bouncy.
at the outer edge of wet ecosystem, with spirea and sweet gail.
used for knitting needles. kids bows and arrows.

buddlia
butterfly bush

robina
black locust
good firewood. cleans soil of toxins. fixes N. coppices.

ailianthus
Tree of Heaven
ghetto palm

artemsias
wormwood family.
european hornbeam tree. teardrop shape. type of iron wood. related to beach

tilia
linden tree. lil flowers - sweet soothing sweet yellow tree

sagitaria
edible tuber. arrowhead/ duck potatoe. wapito. buy the tuber in china town. perrenial. chi gwo.

random gatherings

lacing ideas like drumstrings

You have a better view when you know how big the box is. perameters.

Cats look you straight in the feet.

vails of Sweet Gail

living beneath the aurora.

the feral unfolding butterfly wings of an Ursa Major dream

maiden to the undulations
speaker of silence
repatriater of the perimeter
frauline of the west wing

30 Ways to Flip a Canoe

Fierce Gillie and the Feral Daffodills
its okay to be feral, to be a flower in the forest
humility

whorls of leaves reflect whirls of thought

the naivity of urban vegetarians thinking the monocultures of soybeans do not involve death

Everything gardens

Awakening to this present instant we realize the infinite is the finite of each instant

harm me with harmony

baraka. sufi. the force of grace, lightness, and beauty
the unbearable baraka of being

recreation; re-creation

ephemera

synthetic knowledge

positive use of negative space

the feral unfolding wings of an ursa minor dream
use feral sparingly

sometimes things are just so damn irrelevant and pretty

a whole color. A whole blue, and blue that contains every other blue within it, into a perfectly imperfect, solid, stable shade of blue.

an Iranian, and african, a canadian, and two japanese standing around a rooftop bonfire.

kino no gogo

honmono no me

dr pepper

a walk in the rain. face forward in the wind. the bamboo sings. i want to play the didge in honor of the troubles on this orb. the anger of the trees. the wind whips over this island: a prayer and a curse upon it.

filling the beats where they arent, but are.

the intimacy of doing the dishes. walking in on someone
alone
doing the dishes

last night a man attacked me with a gun in my dreams and i defended myself with a video camera

somnambulent

uxorious

if i am honest, i will admit to looking for your face in the streets below. looking for the beauty of my lover in the faces of the passersby. although you are not my lover, for the record, you are a coordinate of affection in this cosmos of anonimity.

toska

"when they finally sat down, their inner resources of life were excited by one anothers company and began to multiply, and among them was born the shared genius of vital sincerity and of happy rivalry in intellectual friendship."

concatention

chimera

patience is a chilly companion

zenzen onaji

the simple delight in continutity. continutity.

the Fingers Linger, and other sensory delights

a 2-4 dont go far, and other stories of the north

the subtle specificities

the sublime banalities

the polkadot chopstick

My friend, Corey, once said that writing in a negiation with God. First, it is god's word, and they are not yours. Then, you write, and say,' Oh please, just let this flow, please God let me use these words to translate my thought. I will give them all back when I am done, I just need them for a moment.' So then one day God asks for them all back. But, well, they're yours now and no one can take them away because you wrote them down.

when something breaks it makes a beautiful sound

face forward in the wind

wind and rain, erode me down to nothing but the finest strongest sculpture of myself.

effluvia; all the effluvia of married life flowed up and down through that opening, plus it served as an intercom

eco-gastronomy
intergenerational equity
aesthetic infastructure
memorandums of understanding

the true meaning of ephemera in the striped ankle warmers.

spockumentary.

renegade angiosperms
resistance is fertile.

humping the poodles leg

the well lubed tubers and the sweet beets.
the dyke-on daikon

at Josees, june 15

Hypericum perforatum
topical, in oil; sciatica, nerves, sunburn, burns, anti-inflamitory.
internal; mild depression, seasonal disorders; stimulates serantonin.

Nettles
infusion for hair. nutritive. seeds- make vinegar. freeze like spinach. facial steam for oily skin.
releives food sensitivities.

Calendula
to make oil, wilt the flowers for a day to avoid rancidity.
skin. burns, cuts, insect bites. anti-inflamitory. nourishing. anti-fungal. anti-septic.
use tea like arnica.

Ratios.
wet 1:2 100g herb/ 200mL liquid
dry 1:5

Colic calmer; for stomachs. in glycerin. sweet.
catnip, fennel seed, mint, camomile

Dried herbs
nettle mint lemonbalm dandelion root, el campe root

Usnia; lichen, old mans beard
tinture 100%
strong anti-fungal, anti biotic.

Valerian root
internal, tincture or tea,
nerves, sleep anxiety.
with Skullcap for deep sleep. wait 3 years for root.

Red clover
for blood and lymphatic system

Plantain
skin, bites

Yellowdock
gets the bile going. good before eating.
liver, excema. IRON.

Marshmallow
leaf and root for coughs and lungs. skin. urinary tracts. nourishing. nourishes dry skin.
oil; daiper rash, skin. varicose viens

Astralagus
root. immune booster.
mixed with echinacea and propolis

Teasel
eye wash from tea.
itchy skin.
internal; liver and blood.

Stevia
hard to propogate. yummy yummy.
int; mental and physical fatigue

Angelica
biennial
root; cough syrup
seeds; indigestion liver
stock; candies
leaves; vegtable, use to wrap food.

Arnica;
use flower fresh, topically oil.

Bergamont

Ladies Mantle
internal; blood coagulation, bleeding, menstral, astingent, diarhea
tea of flower and leaf as douche for infections

Motherwort
menopause sleepy bouyancy
tea and tincture

Meadowsweet
digestion, goes well with to mellow bitters.
leaves like asprin.
shrub

Wormwood
bitter. bitter. bitter.
worms parasites anemia

Blue vervain.

Wood betony
ext; sore throat, mouth wash, hair rinse
internal; stress fear anxiety worry sedative

Skullcap
immunity

Hyssop
bitter. cough syrup. tea

Cylandine
bitter. liver. dye worts.